Event

Recent events, as well as lesser known but not local events, are currently making me stressed.

I feel like a huge response right now is "but what about rehabilitation? people doing XYZ because of this is doing too much" like guilty until proven guilty I guess...

While I am part of the demographic that can get away with not talking about it, I do want to apologize for not talking about more known, specific recent events. I haven't been talking to it to people in real life for "obvious reasons." That's probably why I never made a public statement, as important as it is.

The worst thing for me to do when I'm stressed or sad is to accept invitations. Especially from strangers or online stuff. I got more important things to take care of.

My goals for this month as of October 4

Deadlines:

• Finish Lab Report 4 by October 6
• Study for Chemistry midterms by October 8
• Sakai Moka birthday art by October 8

No deadlines:

• Finish Lab Report 2 (almost done, but very late)
• Finish Lab Report 3 (not done at all, but late)
• MV concept art (technically there's a due date but it's far away)
• Iroha solo animation
• Continue cleaning room

For these next four days, I think I want to do this:

1. October 4, get started on Sakai Moka and Lab Report 4
2. October 5, spend a lot of time on Lab Report 4 (I had a hard time with Lab Report 2 but not with Lab Report 1 and likely not with Lab Report 3, so we'll see here)
3. October 6, Lab Report 4 due. There is no lab this week, but I think there is a lecture. There's also a quiz due that day, but I might turn it in on the 4th or 5th.
4. October 7, get Moka fanart done and study for midterm.
5. October 8, study more for midterms then submit it.
   My other class's (class'? class's? I just realized for some "class's" is the preferred spelling) midterms is just obeying instructions in a software correctly so I can't really "study" let alone "train" for that.
6. October 9 onwards, Lab Reports 2 and 3 and MV (all three are for school). The other two are not for school and thus are lower in the hierarchy.

August thoughts

A braindump of internet stuff:

• I'm on stage 40-30 of CookieRun: Crumble, meaning it's a GingerCraven level! Wish me luck 💞
• I'll probably need to organize teams and strategies for each enemy, since it's a loop of the same 9 pages, and even some non-main boss enemies, like the Rowdy Bikers and the 10 assassins in the town square, can't just be defeated by a generic team.
• I can't tell if "If you like Hooti Frutti you're sexist" is equivalent to "If you ship Lapis Lazuli with Jasper you're just as bad as an abuser" or even worse. Because, like, Lapis Lazuli and Jasper are not real. But the problem with Hooti Frutti is not the characters they got to sing this song, there's no characters, these are real women. I just don't know if "If you like Hooti Frutti you're sexist" verbatim is aiming at the issue.

Cookie Run Cookie Fun

New Cookie Run update is focused on Pure Vanilla Cookie and White Lily Cookie. Pure Vanilla Cookie might be trying to save White Lily from death or something? I don't know, the full story isn't out yet, and I'm not even through the first half. I am a bit worried that these episodes are being released back to back. I hope the next update doesn't deal with the main story (like Linzer Cookie or Jagae Cookie), at least directly (like Seltzer Cookie). Actually, bring Linzer Cookie back. Where is she and Creme de Brulee Cookie? If it took two years for a proper Macaroni Cookie and Cheddar Cheese Cookie return, then where are our playable mystery Cookies? Not that Mystery Cookie.

Nether Queen Cookie seems awesome so far. I got her on my third pull so I'm a bit more confident. For some reason, with Povidone-Iodine Cookie and Ananas Dragon Cookie, I was having a hard time in the Arena, even after I got them. And no, it's not just because they were pity copies so there was an influx of people who got their pity copies. In June, I had a much easier time fighting with Venom Dough Cookie than Povidone-Iodine Cookie. Now I have Nether Queen Cookie and Povidone-Iodine Cookie in the same team, and all seems well. Also, Nether Queen Cookie is dark-skinned. If "they're just cookies," why are so many of the cookies pale?

I think CookieRun: Crumble might just be the game to break the "poorly-performing Cookie Run game" curse. We'll see. I'm enjoying it so far, though the repeating quest cycle is a drag. Dark Cherry Cookie is a guest in CookieRun: Kingdom and she speaks in beeps and boops, which is very fun. But apparently I have to beat stage 10-30 of Crumble to get her in Kingdom and I wish it didn't take this long to get there.

Amazing Digital Circus Predictions

Oh, what do you know, I didn't go back to most of my social media by now. Huh.

But I will be seeing The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 9 in theaters so I'm going to be giving my predictions:

• Probably more confirmed than theory, but the Digital Circus characters are digital duplicates of humans. Additionally, we will not see their human faces. 3 years of speculation.
• Caine, Bubble, GummyGoo, and other AIs and NPCs will not come back. Abstractions, e.g. Ribbit, Kaufmo, Queenie, and Scratch, would still be alive, and we find out why people abstract.
• Bubble is the blue circle, but his name would still be Bubble (Though it could be Abel? Based on one of the Easter eggs saying "Caine & Abel," Abel is not just something the Abel mannequin thought would sound cool).
• The Circus characters will still be able to imagine things.
• The computer Kinger was typing on was not the PC's real terminal, it's a simulation of a computer inside a computer simulation. But alas, Caine will not come back.
• The Wackytime thing in the terminal seems very strange. It could likely either be the same thing that Bubble's hate comments came from (either Caine's dark thoughts or Abel-Bubble), or a more ambiguous entity that shows no ill will towards anyone.
• We will find out who C&A are. Perhaps not who founded it, but we'll learn something about them that isn't what mannequin Abel told us about them. Just two 25-year-old libertarian guys who started out in their mom's garage and aim to "lax" the boring technological world.
• There will be a moment where I should probably cry a lot (perhaps a Pomni/Caine scene or a Ragatha/Kinger scene), but I don't. I mean, when my favorite character died, turned into a ghost, and hugged his daughter, I didn't cry. But maybe there will be a scene where the baby Trauuma hugs the mommy Trauuma and the real Traumma steals my tears, allegedly to revive Solcière's mentor, but in reality, to turn back to his original, larger form.
• I will not notice anyone who stinks in the movie theater. If the theater is a bunch of shy people who probably project onto the characters, they'd probably square up like they're going to a gala. Also, my nose is not strong, so I don't think I'll notice. It's my first fandom event, though, so we'll see.

I think what I'm most curious about, besides what the butterflies mean in the poster, are what the stars mean. Because it's seen in like 2 or 3 shots in the trailer so if the stars still move when the circus is dull... that probably means something really big.

LEAK DISCUSSION BELOW, NO FULL SPOILERS, I HAVEN'T ADDED MY SPOILER CENSORSHIP THING YET SO SCROLL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS

Based on a TikTok video of someone who saw the leak, there may be actual exploration of Jax and Zooble's dynamic, as well as Jax and Ragatha's, to the point they might not make amends. But that's just a guess. The TikToker censored themself.

There's a popular penguinz0 video about the situation, and it mentions something that does seem plausible to happen, but, as far as I will see it, is alleged: a song from a Black artist(s) is covered by an Asian artist at the end of the episode. 

June 3rd at 2am, I go to the theaters in around 35 hours, I scrolled through the TADC TikTok tag to find leaks but tried to also avoid getting too much.

The players will probably give grace to Caine for putting them in those nightmare scenarios. Who didn't see that coming?

Apparently, the characters find out who their real selves are, and we also see live-action actors portray them, possibly in the same shot. This alone does not confirm or deny "they get out of the circus alive" theory or SOMA/clone theory; for all we know, it could be a dream scenario. Someone on TikTok said the reveal of the human names/appearances of the characters is a "minor spoiler."

I will say, though it was obvious, if the names revealed are actually leaked material, anyone who guessed Kinger's name was Grant was right.

And I also forgot to mention, due to theory evidence, like Gooseworx saying she related to Jax the most, I found the "Jax transitions" theory plausible. Apparently, that's canon. Jax might not come out immediately to the other characters, though.

At least I went out of my lane deliberately to find the spoilers. My TikTok FYP has been kind not revealing leaks of this episode besides a user semi-censoring themselves. However, it also showed me a 3 minute clip of that leaked Avatar movie, which looks amazing, by the way, but it was so good I knew I had to check if it was a leak or not, and it was.

(Edit, August 2nd: I also got spoiled that Gangle's mask in Episode 4 would make one last appearance. This is correct, for better or for worse.)  

June 4th came and went.

The digital circus characters are in fact digital files that can't escape the circus.

We have seen the human faces and names of the cast. However, they are non-speaking roles.

Moon, and presumably Sun, may or may not have been affected by the deletion. The Gloinks and the Gloink Queen are seen alive in the end, meaning GummyGoo, Princess Lollylalu, the mannequins, and other NPCs are most likely also alive. Scratch was brought back to the circus as his regular self, but we don't see Ribbit, Queenie, or Kaufmo in present day, abstraction or not, unless that aquatic abstraction was one of them. The Ribbit hand monster is not in the movie.

Caine is the red AND blue circle, and the blue circle is the one that freaked out. But I think Bubble is faceless or something. He possibly (too?) left the circus but I forgot. The circles are left unnamed.

The characters build the circus back together and it got its color back.

I do not really know where Caine was at besides "the deletion void," but I still believe Kinger's computer could never be able to delete Caine in a permanent way.

Caine was the Wackytime terminal. I feel dumb for thinking it was not. But I believe it was the blue circle who initiated it, not red or red/blue together.

We don't really know what C&A was besides episode 8's description, but we know Scratch's real name!

The Pomni/Ragatha, Pomni/Kinger, and Pomni/Jax scenes were supposed to be the tearjerkers. I was closest to crying in the first of those three, but I didn't.

I thought the theater would be sold out. It seemed to not be. If anyone stunk, I didn't smell it, and I showered and smelled like roses.

The leaks are real. Though the Jax trans thing was just heavy symbolism, not a declaration.

Hiatus(?)

Today I announced that the inactivity on my social media platforms is no coincidence, and announced an indefinite hiatus from my social media presence as an influencer. Well, it's more like a regular hiatus, one where I do actually want to go back. But because of prior inactivity, I felt like I was already on "regular hiatus", albeit not intentional.

My public presence as Roboreverie would be halted. My public presence as A ZU NA Land would be made intentionally sporadic. 

But, if I were to be honest, I imagine I would come back as Roboreverie in the span of... tomorrow. I mean, I hope not, the whole purpose of the hiatus to think smarter, not harder, become more intelligent, and live actively as a human being. I'd rather have a spiritual journey than make another Roboreverie video, Ghostbusters or not.

But we will see. 

Cynicism

Okay, I think I'm done with ChatGPT and Gemini for good. This time.

This isn't an airport, don't announce your departure.

But I think I started getting way too cynical.

Movies 

•  Theater movies aren't that interesting anymore. But this is due to a few reasons:
• 1. Many of these movies are survivors of the writer's and actor's strike. Many of the "better" movies didn't survive this and will likely come around later.
• 2. The movies you are interested in are PG and PG-13 and I am no longer a kid or a teenager. The R rated movies that do appear I end up not as interested in.
• 3. You got movie cynicism in your head and you think all the movies are bad because people keep rating them 2-3 stars.
• 4. You are literally getting less marketing. You saw 6 instances of Avatar: Fire and Ash before it came out and that's wild because you saw someone wear a Fire and Ash hoodie 2 days before the movie came out. Also SpongeBob 4 came out a week ago and you saw marketing for it and you thought it looked ugly so you probably thought its marketing budget was smaller than it was.
• 5. You just need to see more movies point blank. There's thousands of them but we can only make so many at once. You saw Poor Things while it was out of theaters and you thought it was great.
• 6. The big 3 flooding the theaters: sequels/prequels, remakes, and reboots. Sequels in particular seem to be slowing down.
• I think the only 2025 movies I saw were KPop Demon Hunters and The Electric State; the movie you heard nothing but praise (and a few critiques paired with a "I love this movie" sandwich), and the movie for which in terms of movie reviews, the only good one said "it's a good movie to show the kids and turn your brain off to, and if you worry about the Millie Bobbie Brown Chris Pratt movie not adapting the grim source material properly, cope."
• I heard Sinners and One Battle After Another are good. Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein, too. Hundreds of Beavers is the most independent of all these films on this bullet point but people said it was awesome. This, the aforementioned KPop Demon Hunters, and more are proof the movie industry is not all dead inside.

I don't think it's because of disinterest.

AI and "soul"

I am tired and I do not want to explain this as much, but I used AI for three specific reasons, and one of them was to discuss philosophy.

It is common to say "I don't like AI. It's soulless and it's not human." And you're expected to not question that and agree with them.

Sure, the water usage and electricity usage is bad. And a bunch of other things. But why does it matter if AI has a "soul" or not?

I think they called it materialism. To treat everything as physical. The other definition is to value things entirely external, like AI, above spiritual things.

I questioned if the subjective mind is objectively real and if we have things that objectively think about things inside our minds.

I figured the reason about the talk about "souls" and "human essence" was because of humanism, and more so anthropocentrism. I learned about antihumanism. It's not the same as misanthropy. It's anti "humanism", meaning it critiques the philosophy of "humanism" and humans being the center of the universe.

I figured it was hypocritical to be a meat eater and not be a humanist, even though a tenet of humanism is likely also not to eat meat. And probably even more so hypocritical for someone who doesn't like to be sniffed by dogs to be an anti-humanist.

I don't think there's a "natural" thing in this room besides some dead flowers. Not even myself. We've been "human" for so long that if we were ever animalistic, it would be evolutionarily unwise because the only reason many people are as pale as they are is because of migration and, in many cases, racism.

I tried to read Wikipedia summaries about Althusser, I got distracted by the elephant in the room about him. Knowing the crimes philosophers did is like YouTube comments on Mr. Krabs videos saying "Don't let this distract you from the fact that Mr. Krabs sold SpongeBob's soul for 62 cents."

Anyways, soul. Selling soul is a common metaphor. I don't think it's the case for all AI. Penny Parker and the SnapCube team did voice dubs for their AI Dungeon Sonic story where Shadow says "how could a doctor who thrives on death be so afraid to die?" I don't think SnapCube uses AI anymore, and they probably didn't sell their souls for that AI Dungeon thing. But I think I sold mine after I found out ChatGPT uses underpaid workers in Kenya to review chatlogs, and then I kept using AI for 3 years.

I talked to Google Gemini about soul and it said that believing in having a soul, in a world that tries to reduce you to numbers, is actually pretty countercultural. That you refuse to sell yourself because you see yourself as precious, or rather, sacred.

Sure, I could stop believing in souls. It seems... accurate, right? However, believing in at least one subjective, mostly human-constructed thing, like having a soul, is like joining forces with someone who barely aligns with your own but is a stronger fighter than you'll ever be.